Goals. We talk about setting them a lot. I mean, in this industry — the social business one — and in life, goals are where it’s at. You can’t achieve anything without them, and you shouldn’t try.
And yet, it seems near impossible to actually set a goal and achieve what we’re after. I have a couple theories about why this is the case.
1. Setting goals and mapping a path to get you from baseline to your goal is so much simpler than we’re apt to believe. It’s like 3rd-grade math. It’s so simple that now, when our lives have become so “complex”, we can’t comprehend the simplicity and thus…make it harder and screw it up, brazenly stomping our complicated way far past the incredibly easy process of picking something we want to achieve, setting out the steps to achieve it, and doing it.
So there’s that. The simplicity. There’s also the indecisiveness.
2. Goals are essentially decisions you/your boss/the big guys make as to what’s important in both the short- and long-term. While there’s a good chance we’re not saving lives here, the weight of decision-making can be a hefty one when all you want and hope for is that the decision you make is the right one and that it makes something — be it your life or a business — better. To add to it, decisions are hard to make when the world around us is constantly changing. By the time we get around to picking our path and our goals, we’re not totally sure they’re even reasonable anymore. Does that approach still align with what I am/we are working toward?
And really, what’s the end goal of it all? What’s the definition of “being better”? What the hell are we trying to get out of this whole life/career thing?
That’s where we get stuck. When you boil it down, goals can be hard to set because the end goal — the goal we’ve hoped to achieve by our very last breath — is anomalous and vague. It’s spiritual, not tangible. It’s unknown, because we don’t really know what’s next. What’s next is always in flux. And, things that are in flux are tricky for us to grab a hold of, so goal setting must be frequent and adaptable, and somehow have an eye on the end.
Tall order.
There’s a good chance I started off small and went really big with these thoughts. I just find it intriguing that there’s so much literature available about how to set goals and what you need to do to achieve them, and yet so many of us still seem to be fumbling around like a bunch of blind lab rats. That lab rats image made me really sad, so I’ll stop there.
Why do you think so many people struggle to set and achieve goals (business and otherwise)? Are you a goal setting type of person? What have you learned from the process of trying or succeeding at setting goals for your life and career?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Once again you’ve written something that is really resonating with me as of late. I have goals, but they are constantly changing, constantly adapting, and for the first time in my life, when I wake up in the morning, i have no freaking clue how the day is going to end. It’s exciting and terrifying – and sways back and forth between those emotions daily. You’re right though – the BHAG’s we set for ourselves – the goals we have that we want to reflect upon when we’re 80 years old sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair – they’re too vague to realize.
But, what we can do – with the goals on the horizon, is constantly work toward them, whatever that means, set small goals for yourself and work toward those, chip away at the big ones, and take things one step at a time. We’re living amongst a generation of “now” – you have to quit your job now, you have to go start your own business now, you have to move across the world now – and that idealism is making the realists, the ones working a retail job while they pursue their passion, feel like their not doing enough, like they can’t possibly compete with our “location independent” generation.
The only thing you need to focus on NOW is working toward your future – whatever that means. Live in the moment and work hard to make tomorrow even better than today.
Whew…you get the wheels of thought moving T – thanks again. I plan to work a follow up to this in the near future. -Matt
Rock on, Matt. Glad to get you thinking. I was actually discussing my desire to get more organized with my mom and what I realized is I can only be *so* organized because things change daily. Yesterday, I had a big event on the books for next week that I had to pull together; today, that event was pushed back and it’s not at the top of the list.
While organization isn’t a direct reflection of goals, they’re similar concepts in that you have to instill some sort of flexibility into your goals, and you have to be able to adapt to everything moving so quickly. One thing that helps keep me balanced is remembering that there will always be an opportunity to do something again. It might not be the exact same circumstance, but there will be opportunities to achieve what we weren’t able to first time around later in life.
I think the lesson here, for both of us, is that we have to remember to focus on OUR lives and not get wound up in the goals and aspirations of others. At the end of the day, the real goal is just what you said: “Live in the moment and work hard to make tomorrow even better than today.”
Haha, you got me thinking now! Thanks for an awesome comment. Looking forward to reading your follow-up!
You have a knack for getting me thinking – without a doubt. We are living, very much so, in a “now” generation – and while I admire the heck of the drive and determination of the individuals out there who are making waves, as you said – it doesn’t have to happen NOW. It’s not always realistic – not to mention it may not be what you want. Take you for example – realistically, you can move to Chicago, but it’s just not the right time, your content with where you are, you have other priorities – and I think that’s great – know what you want and don’t be pressured by what anyone else says or does (I know you aren’t just using an example).
So many worry SO much about what everyone else is doing – and they feel threatened when someone else is successful – this mentality has never made any sense to me. There’s plenty of opportunity – there’s plenty of room for success – for you, me, and everyone else. Worry about your own goals – and don’t set goals to “be as successful as so and so”. Measure yourself against your own benchmarks, not everyone else’s.
Hope you’re having a great weekend T!
You make another awesome point — many people (and organizations) worry about what others are doing and how they’re doing it, instead of putting that energy into figuring out how *they* are going to succeed regardless of their colleagues/friends/competitors. This is something I’m incredibly guilty of, in that I do a lot of personal comparison and worrying, and all that does is box in my ability to plan for myself. You hurt yourself by keeping too much of an eye on others.
Goals are fluid and ever-moving, and just because they change doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. So often, people don’t set goals because they feel overly committed to something that might not fit their path after a certain time. Learn from that, adapt, move on.
Awesome conversation. You and I could probably go on for hours about this, lol. Thank you for contributing some awesome thoughts here!
I’m right there with you Teresa – I’m not going to sit here and say I don’t or never have compared myself to others, and measured my own success in relation to what those around me are doing – but I’ve learned (and am still learning) that this is a detrimental form of thinking. If you constantly say “I wish I could do what this or that person” has done…you’ll ultimately never be satisfied – you’ll always be measuring against someone else, and you’ll always be a follower – when you should be striving to be a leader. You’ll never get ahead by riding on the coattails of everyone else.
And, don’t forget about the importance of being content – everyone out there will tell you that you need to be doing more, more, more – but sometimes, it’s OK to sit back and be content with what you’ve accomplished and where you are in life, as taboo as that idea may be amongst our generation.
Yes, great discussion – a lot of inspiration for future writing!
I think the reason that so many people (including myself!) struggle with setting and achieving goals is….well 2 reasons, actually:
1. We all have internal conflicts – things that we can’t see on the surface that prevent us from following-through. For example, you set a goal to make a million dollars but you have this internal conflict that says “rich people are jerks.” That sort of thing.
2. Exactly what you said about simplicity, I’ve been guilty of making goals overly complex. Also – trying to accomplish too many goals at once. When you actually take the time to map out a plan to achieve a goal, you realize how much focus and energy it’s going to take to achieve that ONE goal. And that means you have to say “no” to SO many other opportunities! That’s been my biggest realization.
Great post
Thanks for sharing!
You’re so right, internal conflict is a big reason why people don’t commit to things. Call it indecisiveness, call it internal conflict, there’s something inside us that screams in opposition, and it can be hard to block that out and push on.
I was talking a bit with some folks on Twitter about this and the conversation added on another layer — what about how we tackle what to do AFTER we’ve accomplished a goal? Where do we go next? I think that lack of knowing what to take on after can also scare people away from working to achieve something; what happens afterward?
Just some more bits to chew on. Thanks so much for your comment, Christine!
This was a great blog subject. I’m fascinated by how our generation is different from those before us. Goal setting is one small area in which we differ from our parents and their parents.
The world, the media, society… they ask so much more of our generation. It’s not good enough to just have a family and get by. We’re told we have to have 400 different skills (just look at the length of a job posting now), we need to look great, speak well, have money, a perfect family… How can we possibly set goals when achieving all this truly means a wide array of goals.
Yet there are people (a lot of them) who pull it off. We just need to know how they differ from us, if they have what we want. That statement is a form of envy, I know. Unhealthy envy. But if we want more, we must do things differently than we are doing things now. Am I right?
All I need is someone to tell me what I need to do differently.